She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
