omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
