i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
