he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
