Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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