Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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