So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
