i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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