You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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