i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
