her facebook's as public as her vagina
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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