Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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