YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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