Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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