the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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