sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize