he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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