Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
