I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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