eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The uberlube is also flammable
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
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