Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
