I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
