Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
