you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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