STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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