I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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