We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize