Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just had sex bonerless
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
