I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
