but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
