I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
