Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
