the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
