Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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