Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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