She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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