Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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