Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
