the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize