My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
