did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
