If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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