Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
