Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I fill condoms, not promises.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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