Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Never underestimate the power of titties
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
