Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
