The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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