hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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