why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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