note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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