is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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