College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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