Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
