Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
the raccoons are back...
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