My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
