Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
