nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
