gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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