Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
