Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
