WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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