Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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