ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
